A Love Story in Two Realities
Jack
He could smell the honeysuckle from the vine that was tangled up the fence outside the open window. The fan in the corner hummed softly as it rotated back and forth, blowing cool air into the already cool room. Lying on his back he thought about how different this life was from the one he thought he would be living. Shifting slightly, he rolled his shoulder out from under her head and watched as she settled back into sleep.
He traced a finger through her curls and thought of the hours it would take her to straighten them out if she decided to care about such a thing. He slid his hand across the handmade quilt she had worked so hard on, wanting only to understand and therefore preserve an art not even her grandmother had practiced. He thought back to his days of starkly hip linens and ‘Dear God, don’t sit on the sofa’ Swedish furniture.
No, this definitely wasn’t the life he had pictured for himself, but maybe that was the point. Maybe the only way to really know home is to be shocked by it. He gently slid off the bed to make coffee when a strange noise stopped him. The buzz started softly, barely audible, but was rapidly getting louder. He went to the window, but saw nothing to explain the noise. Inhaling deeply, he couldn’t detect any smoke. Behind him, she stirred and lifted herself to rest on her elbows.
“Jack, turn it off,” she said sleepily.
Confused, he looked at the bare table beside the bed. They never used an alarm clock.
“Jesus, Jack turn the damn thing off.”
He snapped awake and groggily hit the button on the clock resting on the expensive bedside table. He threw off the thin silk blanket and swung his feet off the bed. As he stood he looked tentatively over his shoulder at the woman lying in his bed. Perfectly straight blond hair, the kind it took hours to manage.
“Hmm…are you making coffee?”
He shook his head, trying to clear the memory of contentedness and told her that yes, he would make the coffee.
And then he went into his bathroom to wash his face. He would begin his day- go to work, go to the gym, meet Nikki for drinks. He would live in this life that was everything he always thought it would be.
But then his day would end. He would go back to bed and he would once again feel free. He would know happiness, even if it was only a dream.
Eva
Eva sat sipping her coffee trying to figure out why she never felt rested when she woke up anymore. She knew that she had been dreaming lately, but she couldn’t remember any details. She only knew that for the last few weeks she had woken up at the same time, even though she didn’t own an alarm clock, and she had felt lost. It took her at least an hour to wake up and feel like herself.
She looked at the garden around her and tried to make herself concentrate. The peppers were ready to be picked, the roses needed to be pruned and there were caterpillars on the tomatoes again. She could easily spend the entire day out here.
Eva sighed and got up from the weathered Adirondack chair. She stopped to pluck a caterpillar from one of the tomato vines before heading to the shed. She knew that she was supposed to kill them, but she could never make herself do it. Instead, she kept a small burlap sack in the potting shed and she would pop them in it for 2 or 3 days. When the bag was too wriggly for her she would take it out to the woods and release them. She was sure that she kept catching and deporting the same ones, and then just waiting for them to make their way back. But it was a battle she could live with.
Once the caterpillar was stashed away, she called to her old terrier Sal and went into her office to make herself work. She never used to have to force herself into this room. There was a time when she could spend twenty hours a day in here. Sleep was just something that got in her way. But now, sleep was all she really wanted to do. It was the only reason she wanted to work out in the garden, she knew the combination of manual labor and the sun would put her right to sleep.
Eva shook her head and sat down at her computer. She opened her manuscript and set to editing. She knew it would be pointless to try and write something new today. She hadn’t been able to write anything new in weeks. So instead she dutifully set to work on the changes her editor had requested. Delete scene here, shorten dialogue here, expand description here. On and on she worked until the sun had moved low enough in the sky to shine through the window behind her and make her screen dull and hard to read.
It was time to think about food. She needed to take Sal back outside and let her run for awhile. She still needed to prune those roses and harvest the peppers. There were plenty of chores to be done before she could go to bed in good conscience.
It hadn’t escaped her that this detached floating through her days was a new and disturbing trend. She couldn’t remember the last time she had called anyone, and it had been at least two weeks since she had been to town. She couldn’t decide what to cook for dinner because she really wasn’t hungry, even though she hadn’t eaten since breakfast.
Something was wrong, but she couldn’t figure out what it was.
Paradise
The moon transformed the garden into a scene from Shakespeare. The faint starlight and the distant lights from the house glinted off the mirror shards and sea glass that Eva had hidden among the flowers turning what should have been darkness into a sparkling haven.
Dinner consisted of pasta, cooked with the days crop of vegetables and a large bottle of red wine. As he sat there, eating his dinner he thought about how utterly unlikely all of this was.
"This is like something out of a book. One of those travel memoirs about the tired business man who moves to the South of France and buys a vineyard, or the heartbroken writer who runs off to Italy and does...well, she does exactly what we're going right now," he said as he watched her clip roses. "Sit down and eat. I swear I think it would kill you to sit still."
She ignored him and continued to clip at the fragrant buds. She didn’t want him to see how flustered he still made her. It amazed her that he didn’t notice how her hands shook as she focused on the thorny stems.
"I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be this light out here. It's all a little too perfect, don't you think?"
Eva nodded but didn’t say anything. She laid the basket of roses at her feet and took a bite of food. She wanted him to be quiet. His rambling was just reminding them both that they didn’t know each other well enough to be here. But he was right. It did feel perfect, and that didn’t really make sense. Not that she knew what she should have expected.
Abashed suddenly by her silence, he said, "Not that I don't think it should be perfect. I guess this is just so different from anything I've ever known. Well not ever...I kind of feel the way I did when I was a kid and we would go on vacation. We used to go to this lake. I have no idea where it was. But I remember it was always so quiet and there was absolutely nothing that you had to do. I hated it," he laughed. "But now I can see why my parents loved it so much."
She briefly considered teasing him about his new fondness for boredom, but decided not to. "I can't even imagine living in the city anymore. I put in my dues, and now I like my silence. You like it too, when you’re quiet enough to hear it."
"And to think I thought you were sweet," he said.
"I am sweet. And just to prove it I think we should honor your memory of that lake and go for a swim."
"Yes, Ma'am..."
Home
"This could have been where they filmed all of those old monster movies," Jack said as he contemplated stepping into the deep, dark water of the sink hole.
She nodded and said, "Actually, a lot of those movies were filmed about ten miles from here. But don't worry; they had to bring their own monsters."
Monsters, but not the alligators Jack thought nervously. "I really thought that when you suggested a swim, you meant in the pool..."
Jack knew she was waiting for him. She was waiting to see if he would take the next step and move into the warm black of the water. He had a nagging feeling that this was a test somehow. The problem was that he couldn't seem to make his feet move.
He loved the idea of floating in the water, but he was terrified of the way in. There were reeds and lilies all along the water's edge and all he could think of was what might be lurking beneath them. The night's quiet was full of noise and he couldn't help but wonder what sorts of creatures might be out there, hiding in the dark.
He glanced back at her. She had settled into the roots of a massive tree and was simply watching him, her face an impassive mask.
"I'm not sure it's fair that I have to go first. I am the one who's new at this," he said.
She stood, approached him and took his hand. Then she silently guided him away from the water's edge.
"Why are we leaving? I would have done it...eventually."
"Jack, this is my home. You can't follow me to a place where I already am. You have to find your way alone," she whispered.
He looked longingly back at the water and tried to make himself stop. He wanted to run straight into it, snakes and alligators be damned. But instead he held onto her hand and let her lead him back out of the woods. He followed her back through the garden and into the cool safety of her bedroom.
Neither of them spoke as they prepared for bed. They each knew it was pointless. They would lie down together, but they would not wake up that way. He had a terrible feeling that she would not even remember him in the morning. He placed his hands along the bead board walls and tried to plant his feet into the cypress floors. He wanted to force the house to let him belong. He wanted to have breakfast with her in the garden. He wanted to have lunch with her by that damned tree.
He wasn't sure if she was being so quiet out of sorrow or disappointment. He watched her, trying to memorize every inch of her, until she slid into the bed.
"Jack?"
"Yes?"
"Remember what I said about the monsters."
"What?"
That wasn’t even close to what he had been expecting her to say.
"Just remember it."
Research
Jack was late. Again.
"You're late," his boss pointed out. "And I'm tired of it. That is why I'm putting you on a human interest piece. I need it to be something with some history...something that'll take a lot of research. I don't care about the specifics; just make sure it's good. You have two weeks. Now get out."
Jack knew better than to argue. And he certainly wasn't going to point out this assignment, while meant to be a punishment, was exactly what he was looking for. He slumped back to his desk in his best imitation of annoyance and began to gather the few things he would need for a research piece.
Jack arrived at the library at quarter to ten. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he knew there was a story he was supposed to write. He just needed to find it. He ordered all of the microfiche from the 1930s and began to scour it for interesting pieces of Florida History.
He was beginning to get seasick when a young man from the local university came in and asked him if he could have the film that Jack had already looked at.
"Sure, I've gone through 1930 to 1937. I should be done with the rest in about an hour," Jack said as he handed the guy the stack of films.
"Thanks, but I only need 1934 and 1936, so this is perfect."
"Glad I could help. I don't know what the hell I'm looking for anyway," Jack said. "I’m Jack Griffiths by the way. What happened in '34 and '36?"
"David McCormick. I'm doing a paper on the long term effects that movies filmed on location here in Florida have had on the location they were filmed. The old Tarzan movies were filmed in North Florida, the second one was '34 and the third movie was in '36," the student said as he loaded the first reel of film. "I'm trying to see how big a deal the movies were when they were first filmed compared to the lingering tourist interest."
Jack nodded and tried to mask the wheels that were frantically turning in his head. "How is that coming along?" he asked.
David shrugged and said, "Not nearly as explosively as I'd hoped. There were a lot of movies filmed in the state, and most of them were shot in sleepy little places that are too out of the way to have large tourist draws. Most of my data is kind of useless, but the paper is due on Monday. I'll bluff it out somehow."
"You sound like me as a student. Do you mind if I glance at your research? I'll give you a nod in my article if I use it..."
Explanations
“You do realize that you haven’t called me in a month?”
Eva looked up at her best friend and tried to think. A month? It can’t have been a month.
“A month. I will accept two excuses for this: 1. You have been finishing the book, and it’s about to be published and make you millions of dollars and disgustingly famous and you are planning on taking me with you. Or B. You have a man,” Allie offered.
Eva didn’t respond. She wasn’t sure what she could say. “1 or B, huh? Okay, how about we go with P. I’m just slack?”
Allie gave her a disgusted look and dropped her purse onto the table. She threw a cursory glance around, taking in the massive stack of mail and layer of dust. “Seriously, what’s up?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m depressed. It’s nothing, just a funk. What’s going on with you?”
Allie shrugged and started telling Eva all about the horrors of her week while clearing the mess off the table. By the time she finished washing the dishes she had quit her job three times, murdered a few people and divorced her husband. Eva just listened to her in amazement.
“To hell with my depression, I don’t know how you keep going. Your life is officially hell,” Eva joked.
“Yeah, it’s terrible. You should totally finish the book so we can run off and be celebutantes together…I so long to wear sunglasses that cover half my face and carry a little dog wherever I go. Hey, what do you think they do when the dog needs to shit in the middle of Barneys?” Allie asked.
“I’m pretty sure the clerks get stuck with problem. The paparazzi are missing out on one hell of a photo op with that though,” Eva said. “You do realize that authors don’t get to act like that right? That life is just for people who don’t know how to read. Besides, Mark would totally make fun of you if you wore sunglasses like that.”
Eva sat back and watched as Allie moved on to dusting. She knew that protesting would be useless. Allie could no more sit still than drop her annoyance over Eva’s lack of communication.
“Two plates, two wineglasses…so it’s a man,” Allie said.
“Actually, its two days worth of dirty dishes,” Eva countered.
“Nope. Same food on the plates, same wine in the glasses.”
“Leftovers.”
Allie turned and glared at her. Eva could see the wheels grinding. She knew that her friend wanted to scream at her. And she didn’t blame her. She would be mad at Allie too, if she disappeared into herself for a whole month and then refused to talk about it. But what was she supposed to say, “Well, Allie, I had dinner with an imaginary man.”
Ridiculous.
Alone
Jack woke up without the sound of his alarm clock. Groggy and confused, he swung his feet off the bed and sat up. He had that empty feeling that comes with the knowledge that something just out of the reach of your memory is missing. He could smell the remnants of steam from a hot shower and hear the hair dryer.
“Do it, Jack…” he muttered.
He pulled on a pair of mostly clean jeans from the chair in the corner and began packing a bag. By the time the bathroom door opened he had packed everything he cared about.
“What’s going on?” Nikki asked nervously.
He looked at her, taking in the perfection, and then said, “I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. You don’t love me, so don’t look at me like that. You can have the apartment, hell you can have everything.”
The conflict on her face was almost comical. He knew he was right. She didn’t love him. But she did love their life…and he was mostly leaving her that. She looked almost happy, but she would never admit that.
“What am I supposed to tell people?” she asked.
Jack laughed. “Tell them whatever the hell you want. Tell them I died…or tell them the truth. Tell them I disappeared.”
And then Jack walked away. He walked out of his perfect apartment. He walked away from his perfect girlfriend. He walked away from the perfect life that he had always thought he wanted.
He got in his car and headed towards the interstate. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, but instead of thinking about it he would just go to work. And he had a stack of research that pointed north. So for now, Jack would go north.
A Day in the Park
Eva was lying in her bed with her eyes squeezed shut trying to will herself back to sleep. The constant bounce/whine combo that Sal was doing told her it wasn’t going to happen. Sliding her hand under the covers she waited for the next bounce. When it came she rolled over and flung the blankets over onto her excited dog. A yelp and some frantic shuffling satisfied her and she rolled off the other side of the bed to go open the back door.
Sal’s head popped out of her tangle of blankets just as she was walking out of the bedroom. “Come on brat. Let’s go outside.”
The magic words spoken, Sal flew out the back door happily and Eva shuffled into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. She felt odd, as if she had overslept. But the clock said it was barely 7 so there was no reason for her anxiety.
With the cup of coffee steaming into her face she stood at the window and watched as Sal ran circles through the wet grass. It was going to be a beautiful day. The sky was the color of infinite possibility and Eva decided to take advantage of it.
She showered quickly and pulled on her favorite pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Leaving her hair loose and wet she grabbed her park bag and Sal’s leash and left the house. Sal knew exactly what that big blue bag meant and she ran to the gate expectantly.
“I know, it’s been too long, hasn’t it?” Eva coaxed as she let Sal out the gate and into the jeep. Eva drove the ten minutes over to the Spring and parked her car in the farthest space in the empty lot.
She let herself trust in ritual as she opened the door to let Sal free. She held her breath until it became obvious that Sal was going to be good this time and not bound off into the brush, as she was sometimes prone to do.
“Good Girl. Very good…now let’s go to our spot.”
Sal led her as she headed to a lonely picnic table shaded by two large Live Oaks. It was well away from the water and usually secluded which made it perfect. Eva could write in relative quiet, and Sal could play without Eva having to worry about the alligators.
They settled in and before Eva knew it, it was afternoon and the sunbathers were arriving. She looked down at her notebook and realized that she had been writing non-stop. A completely new story was forming and she had absolutely no idea where it had come from.
“Look at me, Sal. I have a novel to finish and I’m sitting here writing…a love story. How could you let that happen?” she asked her sleepy dog. “You’re worthless, puppy, absolutely worthless. How about we go home? Okay, want to go home?”
Sal bounced up as if she truly were a puppy and headed back towards the car. “Sal, wait. Wait!” Eva called as she hurriedly shoved things back into her bag.
She chased Sal all the way to the car, where the old dog was sitting contentedly waiting for her.
“Damn dog,” Eva muttered as she opened the door and helped Sal up into the seat. She threw her bag into the back as she climbed up into the driver’s seat and started the ignition. She was still cursing under her breath as she pulled out and left the park, her notebook still sitting on the picnic table.
Discovery
The only drive north that Jack knew was one of concrete and tedium. This trip was different. He had no maps, no directions, and only a vague idea of his destination. All he knew for sure was that he was not interested in taking the usual routes. He would avoid the interstates. He would not pay a single toll.
If he was going to embark on an unknown mission, he may as well do it right. He had no deadlines and no real agenda except to drive. This was an opportunity for him to see a Florida that was more than just pastel condos and sky rise hotels. He was going to take the long way and meet people who talked about things other than the size of their yachts.
The first place that Jack thought about for his journey through Old Florida was Lake Okeechobee. The largest lake in Florida, and the fourth largest in the United States, the Big Lake is massive when you are standing on its shore.
Jack wasn’t sure if it was this scale, or maybe the fact that there wasn’t a single other person near him, but as he stood on that shore and looked out at the vast dark water he felt completely empty. Hollowed out, but happy about it.
He stayed at the lake for less than an hour. He could now say that he had seen it and it was wonderful. He wanted to be able to say that about other things. He stopped at the Lake Okeechobee Bait and Tackle on the northern side of the Lake and bought a Florida map and a yellow highlighter to mark his path.
It didn’t take much study for him to decide to head east to the mouth of the St. Johns River in Vero Beach. He had read an article in National Geographic a few years earlier about the small towns that dot the St. Johns. He couldn’t remember much of it but there was a quote about how to get anywhere in Florida that he had never forgotten, “Wherever a live oak stretches its branches over the road, that is the route to take.”
At the time, that had seemed like the most luxurious thing Jack had ever heard. Now, he was going to make it his mantra.
Normalcy
Eva was vaguely aware that the phone was ringing. But only in the sense that was there was something in the near vicinity that was annoying and needed to stop. She glanced at the clock on her computer and sighed. It was 11AM. She had been writing for fourteen hours.
Her legs protested as she unfolded them from beneath her and stood. She stretched her hands high, straightening out her creaking back and then dropped at the waist until she was touching the floor in her own completely uneducated version of yoga. Once she felt like she could walk without limping she straightened up and went into the kitchen to see if she had any messages.
She had eight.
Five of them were from her editor, and three were from Allie. The last message threatened her with a visit from the local sheriff if she didn’t return Allie’s calls.
Eva dialed her editor’s office.
“Tell me you have pages for me,” Alex greeted.
“Did you even know it was me when you answered?” Eva asked.
Alex grunted into the phone. Eva could hear him shuffling through papers and could only imagine what his desk looked like. “I knew it was one of my writer’s who owed me pages. You all owe me pages. I have kids to feed, you know? Do you want them to starve?” Eva would get defensive, but Alex had delivered this dialogue many times before.
“Luckily for those imaginary kids I do, in fact, have pages for you. I’ve finished the edits you sent me last month and completed another six chapters.” Eva smiled into the phone. It was always nice to be able to tell him that she had in fact been productive, instead of having to come up with increasingly creative excuses. She had claimed power failures so many times this past summer the publishing house had sent her a generator.
“You are the belle of my ball,” Alex said. “How close to the ending are we? Wait…why am I not seeing your email?”
Eva sat at her desk and began the process of sending him the attachment. “It’s on the way to you right now. I’ve gotten a little sidetracked by this idea that won’t get out of my head, but I think I can still be done with the first draft in the next few weeks. I’ve already laid out the ending chapters I just need to spend some time with them. The word count is getting a little high, I know, but I’m sure it’s nothing your magic can’t fix.” Eva hit the send button.
“That’s good, that’s very good. Especially if by first draft you really mean fifth, like you usually do. Listen, send me your next chapters as you lay them down. I love receiving in bulk but we can get this out a lot sooner if you’ll let me work with you, instead of after you. And send me what you have on this new idea. Maybe I can get you some money.”
Eva paused. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to share the story that was rapidly writing itself in her head. She hadn’t even gone back to the spring to look for the notebook that held the beginning. Something about it was bothering her far more than anything she had ever worked on before.
“I’ll send you the chapters as I finish them,” she said.
“Hmm…I believe this might be a first. Eva Black withholding a story. All right then, we’ll talk about it more when you write The End. I’ll talk to you next week?” he asked.
“Next week. Bye Alex.
“Bye Belle.
Eva hung up the phone and laughed. And then she picked it back up and dialed Allie.
“You are getting to be so annoying. I mean, you call me at all hours of the day. Always just wanting to talk talk talk. I mean, I do have things to do,” Allie greeted.
“What’s wrong with a simple hello? I swear, it’s like no one appreciates the simple niceties anymore,” Eva responded.
“Ah, the simple niceties. Like answering your telephone when it rings? Or going out to dinner when your friend invites you?” teased Allie.
Eva grinned, “Actually, dinner sounds very nice. We can celebrate the sheer amount of work I got done last night while ignoring my friend’s phone calls. What did you have in mind?”
“Well, I was thinking we could try Fresco.”
Why would Allie sound nervous? Allie was never nervous. Eva felt her eyes narrow and her shoulders tense. “What are you up to?”
Allie sighed. “I just think you should dress up, preferably in that blue dress, and come to dinner with us.”
“At the nicest restaurant in town? Where neither of us has ever been? Who exactly is us?” Eva challenged.
“Us is me and Mark, obviously. And this friend of Mark’s from the firm, that is a really cool guy and who I might or might not have told all about you. And shown your picture to.”
“Allie! You know I can’t do blind dates. I feel sick just thinking about it,” Eva exclaimed. “Why would you do that?”
There was a long pause, much longer than was normal. Eva knew that Allie was biting the inside of her lip and trying to force herself not to start yelling.
“I did it because you need me to,” Allie said very slowly and deliberately. “You are seriously, seriously in need of a little bit of normalcy in your life. And whether you want to admit it or not, normalcy is going to dinner with your best friends and a really cute lawyer. Normalcy is dating.”
As pathetic as it was, Eva could feel herself about to cry. “I don’t know how to do that, Allie. I’ll come across as a freak.”
“No you won’t. I will be there to keep conversation flowing. It doesn’t have to be anything, Evie, just dinner with friends. That’s all he’s expecting, I swear. Yes, I told him about you…and yes, he seemed genuinely interested. Fascinated actually. But it’s still just dinner with friends.”
Eva wiped the tear off her face and knew that Allie was right. She was seriously becoming a hermit and it was pathetic. She walked into her closet and pulled out her blue dress. It was wrinkled from her extremely lax attitude towards hanging her clothes. “Okay. I’ll wear the blue dress. But I’m coming to your place to get ready and ride to the restaurant.”
“Deal,” Allie said, her grin visible through the phone.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
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6 comments:
I love this story. I really think you have something here and you should go with it!! Eva is something like you, but not too much. I laughed at Allie about quitting her job, leaving her hsuband, and killing people. I could really relate to her...
I like where it's going. I also like the FLorida facts thrown in. They don't seem forced, but just part of the story. I thought the part where he cried seemed a little awkward. He just started on this very personal journey. It seems like that would be something he would do later. Just a thought.
Oh wow! Talk about putting your own experience into your writing. Isn't that the same conversation we just had on Saturday? I loved that chapter. No suggestions. Leave it the way it is.
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